Birth, death, the opening of a new house and marriage ceremonies are amongst many occasions celebrated in Igbo land. Amongst these occasions, marriage is one ceremony marked gallantly.
Marriage as defined by the Oxford Concise dictionary is “the legal union between a man and a woman in order to live together and often to have children.” Legal as inferred indicates that certain norms should be met before such marriage is validated.
The validity of a marriage in Amaigbo is the performance of marriage rites. The rites provide opportunities for the bride and bridegroom families to get acquainted and further the relationship as they learn and understand each other’s marriage customs and traditions.
Marriage rites in Amaigbo are the Ikü aka n’üzò, di abala anò, di abala asatò and the ibuzu ònü akü nwanyi (16 days). Mulch of items prescribe by the brides family, are to be presented on each marriage rites day.
Normally, when a man is ready to settle down to marriage, tradition allows the man to either find himself a wife, or to allow his parents to marry off a wife for him. In a situation where the former is the case, the man’s parents would make some enquiries about the girl he intends to marry: the enquiry is to ascertain the girl’s nobility and family history.
Furtherance to the enquiry is a visit to the brides’ house. The man at this stage can make this visit with an uncle or his friend to make his intentions known to the girl’s family. The family would ask the prospective in-law some questions and advice him to go and cudgel his brain about his intentions and inform them about his decisions.
The girl’s family will in turn make enquiries about the man while they wait for their daughter’s approbation.
If all enquiries went seemingly well, the first step in cementing the union is the ikü aka n’üzo marriage rites.
The bridegroom’s parents and some members of his kindred would accompany the bridegroom to the girl’s family, to apprise them of their intention. The following items are presented at this visit.
The bridegroom’s family will be informed of the girl’s decision. In light of a positive consent, the necessary arrangement is made for the di abali anò marriage rites to follow.
This ceremony is marked on a low level. The parents of the bride and groom and some family kindred are present at this occasion. The bridegroom’s parent is expected to present the following items are the ceremony.
As custom demands, at the end of the ceremony, the bride would go with her husband. She is expected to spend four days in her new home, to study the family she intends to marry into before she gives her final consent.
The bride returns to her parents at the end of the fourth day with the following items. These and many others depending on the groom's financial capability mark a symbol of his affection and commitment to settle down to married life.
The Di abala asatò marriage rites follow once the brides’ parents are convinced that their daughter is happy with her choice of a life partner.
The bridegroom parents and members of his kindred presents the following items at the ceremony.
The bride is expected to spend eight days at her husbands’ house at the end of this ceremony to espouse marital roles and doctrines. She lives for her parents after the 8th day with presents/items. The range of items varies; it is at her husband’s discretion, though a lot more than was given her at the end of the forth day marriage rites.
The final ceremony which follows is the 16 days marriage rites. This ceremony confirms the connubiality of the marriage. It is the traditional wedding. This ceremony indeed attracts people far and wide. It provides an opportunity for the bridegroom to show off his wife to his friends, families and well wishers. The bride would in turn invite friends, families and fellow villagers as she plays host to her in-law.
The in-laws are required to present the following items at this ceremony:
The ibuzu onu aku marks the last stage of marriage rites in Amaigbo. Following the presentation of items prescribe by the brides’ clan is the hobnobbing of the celebrants and their guest, where food and drinks is served.
The ceremony also provides opportunity for the groom to be formally introduced to the guests and the brides’ clan. The brides’ father invites her to introduce her husband. The introduction is marked with the serving of a drink (palm wine) to the groom. The bride introduces her husband by serving him a drink.
She serves him the palm wine on her knees as a mark of respect and submission to her husband. The husband in turn drinks from the palm wine and subsequently, ostentatiously shows his face to the already astir crowd by dancing with his bride.
The herald of the ceremony is when elders and parents from both the bride and groom give their blessings to the newly wed. They are prayed for, admonished and advised on ways of marriage as they embark on the marital journey.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”(Gen 2:24) The newly wed embark on this blissful journey embracing God’s grace and bracing up to life challenges.
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